Leading Effectively by Building Relationships and Having Conversations

by John Keyser

I enjoyed a wonderful conversation this week with a friend who moved to a new company. He has an important position in this large company, one of the industry leaders. I was eager to learn how things are going for him.

Not at all to my surprise, I learned that he is loving his work and his colleagues, and he is proud of his company. Just as I expected, as he is a highly-intelligent, dedicated and caring person. He is very much a servant leader.

He told me that since day one with his new company he has emphasized conversations and relationships. For example, when he started, he asked his boss to suggest 20 people with whom he should develop relationships, relationships that would assist the quality of their work and their productivity.

My friend invited each of these people to coffee or tea just to have good conversations about their work, goals, challenges, and lives, making sure to ask each person two specific questions. First, he asked what advice they could share with him as he started his new position. Second, he asked that they recommend another person he should get to know.

As a result, since that time he has had conversations with 20 additional colleagues.

By investing in these relationships, he has gained a wealth of knowledge and helpful ideas. He feels he can contribute so much to the success of the company. Yet, and this I greatly admire, he feels the approach to achieving the greatest success for the business will not be for him to present these ideas, but rather to offer them in such a way that others feel that they are their ideas. Leadership by questioning!

Business is about relationships, quality relationships, founded on respect and trust. As I learned from my friend Al Ritter, author of The 100/0 Principle: The Secret of Great Relationships, relationships can only be developed by conversations.

Conversations are so important.  It’s how we connect with people. I know, we’re all busy, but relationships must be a top priority. Even short conversations are better than no conversations. They let people know we care about them and their ideas and that we are there to help them. And when we’re not physically present, pick up the phone.

Conversations are the work of a leader! So while my friend is doing this within his new company, it is equally essential that we make conversations and relationships our priority within our current organizations. It will significantly improve morale and our effectiveness as a leader.