How to Develop Productive Working Relationships

 

by John Keyser

Issues having to do with difficult managers arise regularly in my leadership work with clients and as follow ups to leadership webinars that I facilitate with Georgetown alumni. I hear way too often, “I do not feel I have a productive working relationship with my manager.” Often there is a sense that, “The manager does not genuinely care about me, my ideas and my success, and does not take time to help me.”

Certainly good working relationships are very helpful. They help us, our manager, our team and our company achieve our goals, and ultimately they help us serve our clients.

I’d like to share my thoughts about creating productive working relationships. I believe these strategies can work well, even with most difficult managers.

First, please realize these thoughts are not simply relevant to those who struggle with their managers. These thoughts are also relevant to managers. Good working relationships are a two-way street, and both parties are responsible for doing their best to work well together.

It’s been my experience that too many managers do not realize that each person on their team is different and has different motivations and needs. Often managers do not realize it is their responsibility to understand how to best help each of their team members to do their best work.

I learned a critical strategy some 25 years ago when Johnson & Higgins embarked on our Quality Initiative, thanks to Christine LaSala, Dan Knise, Betsy Balderston, Jim Appleton, Joan Sherman and many more who worked patiently to help us have critical conversations to know what success looks like for all parties.

Have critical conversations to understand what success looks like

Here’s the approach I favor: Sit with your manager and explain, “I want to do an excellent job and be successful, and so I’d like to ask you, what do you expect from me? What do you need from me? What do you want from me?”

And continuing, “So I may do my best, I’d like to share with you as my manager what I need from you.” It could be more time together, teaching, mentoring, constructive feedback, professional development opportunities, clarity—any number of things.

Just as we need to understand our manager, our manager needs to understand us.

It is also a very good idea to discuss with your manager what each of you feel is good communication between the two of you, as so often problems are due to communication.

These conversations are helpful even if you have a great manager, as it is still important to know his or her expectations, needs and wants.

These conversations can help us understand what success looks like, what everyone wants to get out of the relationship. We must be sure to listen carefully, be sure we understand, and ask follow-up questions to be certain we know what success looks like.

Questions are our best friends! And be sure to take notes!

Just as we should have these conversations with external clients to learn what they expect, need and want from us, we should also have these conversations with our internal clients, our team members and other colleagues, including those who we report to and those who report to us. Once we know what success looks like for us, externally and internally, we can deliver to these standards.

Remember, a problem discussed is a problem half solved.

I hope that if you are one who does not feel you have a productive working relationship with your manager, this will help you establish a relationship that sets you up for success.