Asking Questions Is Our Most Helpful Tool

Last week, I wrote about the importance of questions.  I received lots of appreciative feedback. I was particularly interested that everyone I heard from was a man, and that they liked what I wrote about the importance of asking purposeful questions.  That thrilled me, as we men are simply not as inclined to ask questions as are women. I know this and it is one of my personal development goals.

Asking questions is so important:

• If we are bosses, whether CEOs, senior executives, or team leaders, our most important responsibility is to help our people do their best and succeed.  The best way to do that is to explain to each that we want to help them succeed and to ask them what they need and want from us so they may do great work.
• All of us need to ask what success looks like to our own boss or our Board of Directors if we are the CEO.
• We all are on teams and should be helping our teammates.  We must ask them what they need and want from us.

Asking questions should come from our attitude – our desire to help and to serve. It is a sign of strength, our inner confidence.  (It is the insecure boss who does not ask what he can do, nor for advice and ideas.)

As I mentioned previously in papers, questions are our best friends. They hold the power to cause us to think. When we ask someone for their ideas, we become their peer, thus honoring them.

To borrow from Tony Stoltzfus, in his guide about powerful asking skills, he observes that our emphasis on asking questions brings our conversations to be less about our own thoughts and ideas.  We begin to listen – to really listen – to the other person, and that is when the magic can happen. The more we listen, the more we see how capable the other person is, and how much more they can do and become, maybe with our encouragement.

Let’s always be mindful:

• The best ideas are bottom up ideas
• If we want something improved, we should ask the people actually doing the work for input
• The best questions are followed by silence, reflective silence

Want to be a true leader?  Walk around or call and ask people what advice they have for you. They will be appreciative, will admire your vulnerability, and you will gain some great ideas and a more energized team.

Everyone wants to do well, to be successful.  As leaders, we must help them. This is servant leadership, which is the leadership of the future!

My invitation this week is for you to ask lots of people how you can help them and for their ideas and advice and to ask ourselves, how do I want to be received by others?  And how can I be a better servant leader?