Ask Questions, Listen to Understand, Be Kind

by John Keyser

I had the good fortune of insightful conversations with three leaders this past week. Here are some of the highlights I wanted to pass along pertaining to their wisdom and experiences.

A leader believes that she/he can learn all day long, from anyone and everyone, and from any situation.

Sometimes we knowingly, or unknowingly, dismiss a person’s feedback because of their position or age. We may hold the belief that a young person has limited insight or people in certain positions may lack judgement. That may not be so.

Interestingly, each of these three leaders shared stories that conveyed their appreciation in learning from the wisdom, ideas and insights from their colleagues…and their children.

These leaders emphasized that it is essential that we, as leaders, make it a practice that we learn from our team members! Every day!

Ask Questions, for example:

• What are you learning from our clients?
• How could we improve our work?
• What would make our work here more enjoyable?
• How could we improve teamwork?
• What would save us time?

Listen to our team members’ responses with patience and interest.

One leader mentioned they love where they work precisely because the owners routinely ask how things are going, seek everyone’s ideas, listen with interest and make adjustments based on the feedback team members contribute.

Another described two favorite bosses from the past. One, a senior executive at a major consulting firm would regularly ask team members for their ideas and what they thought we should do. He also wanted to know team members as people, not simply as consultants there to do their work. The other was head of leadership for a Fortune 100 company. She was tough, but she believed in her people, had their backs, and helped build their confidence.

The third leader spoke about the critical importance of kindness. Kindness flows from humility and respect for others, regardless of their position or age. Kindness fuels a generous spirit that helps others and cares about the good of each team member.

These three leaders are passionate about wanting others to be successful, are generous in helping them learn, grow and boost their inner-confidence.

And guess what? Each of these leaders is a woman!

Our businesses are about relationships, internal as well as external. A great strength of women in business is that they tend to genuinely care about their team members – and they connect!

As leaders, when we connect by asking questions, listen to understand and are kind, our people feel appreciated, valued and heard. As these three leaders have shared, this energizes and motivates them.

All of us must realize how much the morale of our companies – the spirit of our people – matters. Our organizational culture matters immeasurably!